If you need a good laugh, let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, I was born without a baking skill in my body. This rainy evening, I attempted to make oatmeal raisin cookies using a recipe that didn’t require vanilla extract. A traditional baking necessity, no doubt, but I operate by the rule, “Don’t have it? Don’t need it!”
Naturally, in true SG fashion, I combined a couple recipes. One called for 3/4 cup of butter; the other specified 1C. OK, I’ll go with the latter, I decided. Why not? At the end of the day, everyone loves more butter.
I didn’t have a mixer to beat the room-temperature butter (yes, at least I let it warm up). So, into the saucepan it went, until it melted down like the Wicked Witch of the West.
After a generous pour of granulated sugar, I added brown sugar, sea salt, cinnamon and nutmeg. The liquid mistake joined the marriage of ingredients, followed by whole-wheat flour — a half-cup too short.
I could tell the “dough” needed something…something important, like more flour. Instead, I added shredded sweetened coconut and eyeballed a half-cup or so of sunflower seeds.
One recipe specified to bake at 375 degrees; the other didn’t even present directions, (which is probably why I liked it. I guess it wasn’t so much a recipe as it was a bunch of ingredients that mirrored a grocery list).
The first batch nearly burned. But, I managed to “save” the pancake-flat cookies by quickly rolling them into balls, nearly scorching my hands in the process, before I rebaked until they were hard as rocks.
In transit, I’d stuck the bowl of remaining “dough” in the freezer before rolling little balls and placing onto a cookie sheet. Into the oven they went, and out came flat cookies…yet again.
So I improvised.
With my bare hands (they were clean), I scooped the dough into my palms and slapped small portions down into a muffin tin as if I was playing basketball with wet oats.
And this is why I should never bake. #measuringisforfools
Actually, I look at it this way: I’m just meant to eat healthy. Hence, I never seem to destroy this Blue Bottle Coffee granola recipe. It’s true. Blue Bottle not only offers foxy coffee, but the most incredible granola ever to greet your tongue.
Sounds intense, but try it, and you’ll understand why. Find the recipe courtesy of Pure Wow. I switch canola for olive oil because it offers a better flavor overall. Not that you’ll be convinced, given the above fun surprise (in my defense, my guinea pig tester said she actually liked my coconut-sunflower-seed-oatmeal-cookies-turned-muffins). I’ll pawn the byproducts onto my brother and fellow co-workers.